I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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