sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
