Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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  (832): I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill http://tfl.nu/19kp
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (2070)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

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  (908): i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you http://tfl.nu/oo8d
  Replies (36) Good night (1031) Bad night (4473)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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  (774): im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there http://tfl.nu/wpso
  Replies (8) Good night (4782) Bad night (1009)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.

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  (205): my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything. http://tfl.nu/6bhr
  Replies (13) Good night (3328) Bad night (1270)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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  (918): There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters http://tfl.nu/8485
  Replies (83) Good night (11335) Bad night (1877)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!

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  (518): he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home! http://tfl.nu/koxv
  Replies (12) Good night (3596) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock

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  (443): WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock http://tfl.nu/0ctc
  Replies (4) Good night (3589) Bad night (919)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.

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  (270): My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/nzx6
  Replies (15) Good night (4928) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"

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  (740): He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work" http://tfl.nu/lj9u
  Replies (6) Good night (3517) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine

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  (978): He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine http://tfl.nu/bvyx
  Replies (12) Good night (2151) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3591) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1719) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.

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  (206): Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious. http://tfl.nu/0zzq
  Replies (8) Good night (763) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week

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  (770): Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week http://tfl.nu/af2g
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (226)

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