Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises

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  (617): Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises http://tfl.nu/cep7
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (541)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

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  (814): i already hear my dad disowning me http://tfl.nu/x26e
  Replies (2) Good night (2223) Bad night (768)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9142) Bad night (953)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.

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  (515): "reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time. http://tfl.nu/in1x
  Replies (15) Good night (4373) Bad night (1176)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3247) Bad night (5809)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Why is your signature on my underwear?

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  (419): Why is your signature on my underwear? http://tfl.nu/8itl
  Replies (19) Good night (6107) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1112) Bad night (3200)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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  (603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0
  Replies (7) Good night (2599) Bad night (622)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.

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  (605): Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday. http://tfl.nu/aaw6
  Replies (15) Good night (2888) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

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  (843): What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts. http://tfl.nu/4ub5
  Replies (16) Good night (2807) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.

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  (914): I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit. http://tfl.nu/fljs
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (1397)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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  (613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

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  (919): I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going... http://tfl.nu/t999
  Replies (7) Good night (294) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.

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  (248): Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory. http://tfl.nu/ir2r
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.

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  (512): It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should. http://tfl.nu/c9et
  Replies (1) Good night (777) Bad night (218)

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