Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho