Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy
  Replies (46) Good night (945) Bad night (5817)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo. http://tfl.nu/gbo1
  Replies (44) Good night (2493) Bad night (5379)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes. http://tfl.nu/3pwk
  Replies (13) Good night (5758) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good. (763): haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/7v2j
  Replies (41) Good night (1437) Bad night (3343)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Why was I handcuffed to the roof?

  (518): View more from New York

  It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Why was I handcuffed to the roof? (518): It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly http://tfl.nu/nk88
  Replies (27) Good night (9559) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts. http://tfl.nu/k2p7
  Replies (18) Good night (6678) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1
  Replies (15) Good night (1711) Bad night (4417)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9
  Replies (18) Good night (4595) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night. http://tfl.nu/myre
  Replies (3) Good night (3078) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows. http://tfl.nu/dnld
  Replies (14) Good night (1406) Bad night (3100)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

  (289): View more from Ontario

  You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia? (289): You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname. http://tfl.nu/fwap
  Replies (7) Good night (1587) Bad night (2874)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself http://tfl.nu/u3l5
  Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (1986)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet? http://tfl.nu/5htr
  Replies (2) Good night (1499) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals. http://tfl.nu/0dw4
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok. http://tfl.nu/5g3s
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (455)

Randomize