Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa