So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.