My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket