i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch