I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
