Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
