just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
