haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
