My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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