Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
