A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
