do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
