Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
