It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
