Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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