What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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