I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
