He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
