is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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