eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
