I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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