If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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