so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
