she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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