After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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