Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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