You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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