Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
