Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Did I show you my penis last night?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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