"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
