i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
