she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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