I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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