why didn't you poke me back
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
