so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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