the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
