Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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