Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
