I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
