I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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