three words: i give head
three words: not that well
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
