she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
