wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am available for nakedness
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
