it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
there is puke in my bra ... again
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