By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
