i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize