the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
