I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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