Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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