You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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