they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
