Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you had me at cake vodka
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
