At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is Oprah even human
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
