Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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