I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
