Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What drink are we having for lunch?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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