hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
