i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
