And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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