Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
