I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize