"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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