I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
