Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
