He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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