Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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