Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
please come you make the beer taste better
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
