All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
