Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
