he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
