so that wasnt chicken after all
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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