im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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