Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
