I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize